Honor Our Feelings and Make Intersectional Analyses

We need to do both in the aftermath of the Atlanta shooting

On Monday March 15, 2021, I planned out my work week and excitedly blocked out Wednesday morning for rest. I planned to visit my favorite plant nursery located in a predominantly Asian neighborhood east of Los Angeles.

On Tuesday March 16, 2021, I was cooking a late dinner when I saw news of a shooting in the Atlanta area, targeting three Asian massage businesses. Six people who died were Asian women. I went to bed numb, as a ghost-person.

On Wednesday March 17, 2021, I mostly lived at a surface level, managing to microwave some food, go to the bathroom, and text my people. I did not visit the nursery.

On Thursday, March 18, 2021, I woke up drowning in an ocean of intense emotions. They were expansive, bottomless. And I didn’t know how to swim. It was almost noon when I got out of bed and made coffee. I thought about visiting the nursery. But what if there is a shooting at the nursery? Well, I can’t live my life thinking this way. Ok, but it’s only been a little over 24-hours since it happened, it’s ok to be scared. Yea, true. Ok, is the risk of violence at this particular place heightened right now? Is a shooting likely? Do you just want to stay home? I asked myself these questions and decided to go. It was a beautiful experience. I took in the smell of nature. I bought flowers and a plant. I bought planters and potting soil.